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Nov. 17th, 2009


Honey Moon

Vacation is coming to an end. I must say this was much easier to take, having it be the second vacation this year. I was much less antsy.

Ryo, we are going out for coffee on Monday. I need to be filled in on the gossip of the precinct that I may have missed.

Mar. 5th, 2007


The OC Quote

if you have to go, go,
but if you do,
don't come back.
-- The OC


Looks like I'm stuck going to town tomorrow.....

Not like I have much else to do..........

Returns......are such a hassle.........heh heh.


Mar. 4th, 2007



people are always telling you
that change is a good thing,
but what they're really saying is that
something that you didn't want to happen
just happened.
-- You've Got Mail

Something that has always interested me about quotes is the way people see them when they read them. Like what comes to their mind as their eyes scroll over the words. What part of their heart listens and sorrows over them.

I am neither an abstract nor logical thinker. I use both sides of my brain in the utmost balance. The logical thinkers would say that that just means I can't make up my mind. The abstract thinkers would be saying that I'm too imbalanced to see things the way they are supposed to be seen. But to me, I think I would serve more as one who can see both sides of the mountain.

Change is something that I have always welcomed. A change of environment, a change a pace, a change of life. I succeeded to some type of major change during some point in my life. Now, as I look back upon those days, I wonder that as I was telling them that change was for the better, were they viewing it as an onimous approach to something they have always dreaded?

Nope. I just think too much.


Mar. 3rd, 2007


Grey's Anatomy

a couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the
world the secret of his success. Never leave that till tomorrow,
he said, which you can do today. This is the man who discovered
electricity. You would think more people would listen to what he
had to say. i dont know why we put things off, but if i had to
guess, I'd have to say it has a lot to do with fear.
fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear
is just of making a decision, because what if you're wrong?
What if you're making a mistake you can't undo?
The early bird catches the worm. A stich in time saves nine.
He who hesitates is last. We can't pretend we hadn't been
we've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers,
heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time,
heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day.
still, sometimes we have to see for ourselves.
we have to make our own mistakes. we have to learn our
own lessons. we have to sweep todays possibility
under tomorrows rug until we can't anymore.
until we finally understand what Benjamin Franklin really meant.
that knowing is better than wondering,
that waking is better than sleeping,
and even the biggest failure beats the hell out of never trying.
-- Grey's Anatomy

Feb. 25th, 2007



Out of pure boredom, I've been looking more in Psychology. Recently, my attention has been focused on schizophrenia.

Image growing up with a normal childhood. You have the normal sicknesses here and there, but nothing significant.

As you grow older, you are still in good health. You jog everyday, you watch what you eat, and you don't do anything damaging to your body.

But then, odd things begin to happen. A few of your friends begin to harass you, criticizing your every choice and action. Family members and other friends begin to stare at you weird, whispering behind your back. Your wife looks at you with sadden eyes that are swollen from crying. You don't understand what's going on.

Then they start trying to help you. You get suggestions to see doctors, psychiatrists are what they're called. They want to admit you to hospitals and the like. Those few criticizing friends are feeding you words that are causing the hate within you to boil. They painfully point out how everybody is against you, and you know they speak truthfully.

Now comes the challenging part. Is your mind strong enough to break through the glass of realization? Will you notice small facts that will benefit you incredibly? Will you notice that your criticizing friends aren't aging? Will you be able to realize that these people are figments of your imagination; that you are schizophrenic?

Lets say you do make this realization. But how? These people are real to you. You've heard their words, you saw them with your eyes, and you've felt their touch. They can't be your imagination.

Here's where we go into scientifics. Schizophrenics suffer from a deformity to the hypothalmus in the brain (the part that maintains your temperature). It is effecting your senses. Lets say the major part that is affected if your touch senses. Your nerves are picking up wrong signals and sending it to your brain. Your brain is becoming confused since none of the other signals are showing signs of what your touch senses are. So other senses begin making things up. Your vision creates an image to relate to the touch. Your hearing places words to go with the image. It continues this way till you've created a living, breathing person.

Now you're a lucky person. You're brain, though working incorrectly, has created imaginary people that you believe are real. But what if your memory, the most abstract piece of a human, doesn't fill in the touch with a person, but with something else? Instead of a person that can easily become a friend, you see something from your worst nightmares? Perhaps a villian from a movie wielding a chainsaw. Perhaps a demon. Then what do you do. Your fears are overwhelming your mind. You cannot successfully come up with something that can prove to yourself that these images aren't real. Perhaps your reality is real, and the others are imaging things. Or maybe you're peeking into a new dimension. Or perhaps you created everything in the world from your mind.

That is when you become a lost case. You're destined to a world of mental institutes and will never live a normal life. That's where science has lead us to...when can we expect a breakthrough?

Now that I'm done with that, I have another piece of food for the brain. What if the visions that your mind created looked something a little like this:


Jun. 23rd, 2006




I got contacts!

Jun. 17th, 2006


Adopted Roles

Okay. Wonder for food.

In a family, it is always assumed who takes what role. For example, the father works; the mother cooks and cleans; the older brother watches over the younger sister; and the younger sister is the innocence of the family, the one proned to be curious.
Even in a gay relationship, roles are assumed. One is expected to be a man of the relationship, one likewise the woman.

Is that why the adopted kid feels so left out? Since he wasn't born or married into the family, he was assigned a role rather than assumed one all because he came at a later time? They are ladden with the weight of knowing they are an intruder to this family. Merely a person that must borrow a role rather than be assumed one.

Or is that as an adopted child, you are assumed the role of the depressed, angst child. A child that feels alone while his "parents" are thinking that he is craving too much attention?

Would it ever be possible for the parents and child to see eye to eye?

Okay. Enough thought for tonight.


Oct. 11th, 2005


4 days without leaving this place....

Well I'm going into day four at the precinct here. You guys should be grateful of the work I put into this place... ^.^

Anyways, I got lots of work done, but....have lots more to do.

....Since when did I get this much work??

Well it's good for me (and my financial state :P)

That's all...be happy I updated n.n

Apr. 30th, 2005



Things have became...calm. It's odd, too. Usually everything's hectic. Anyways, my step-sister has finally gone home. I was getting sick of meeting her new "friends" whom happen to follow her home from the bar after hearing about a single guy living in a place like this. I was thinking about moving. Then she wouldn't want to come over anymore. I could move to a crappy apartment and fix my room up so that it fits standard living conditions. But I don't know. I'm lazy, and I don't think I would get much done.

Apr. 17th, 2005



Too late she's here. And she's ruining my life. Grr.

Anyways, I have been very bored lately. I'm thinking about skipping work today and going up north maybe. I don't know where, but I'll leave without telling the she-devil.

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